Australia's premier supplier of cloud-fresh, free-range, downloadable RAM. Delivered instantly, straight down your internet connection — yes, even on the NBN.
* Not actual RAM. RAM is physical hardware and cannot be downloaded. This is a parody website — see the disclaimer. No product, service, or gigabyte will be supplied.
Our patented-pending RAM delivery pipeline, perfected over literally minutes of research.
Our servers spring into action, carefully harvesting premium gigabytes from the cloud directly above Uluru, where the RAM is most spiritually aligned.
Your memory is shipped through the internet's famous series of tubes, hand-compressed by our engineers so it fits through the thin bits.
*Results may vary. By "vary" we mean "not occur". By "faster" we mean "the same speed". By "your computer" we do at least mean your computer.
All sticks digitally free-range, ethically sourced, and gluten free.
Reliable, no-nonsense memory that shows up on time and calls your computer "boss". Perfect for having 47 browser tabs open, all of which are Bunnings.
Simultaneously installed and not installed until you open Task Manager, at which point it's definitely not installed.
Lovingly aged since 1998 in a shed in regional Victoria. Notes of dial-up, LAN party, and Space Jam website. For the discerning collector.
From real customers we absolutely did not make up.
"I downloaded 32 GB and now my computer boots up before I even press the power button. Sometimes it boots computers in neighbouring houses. Unreal."
"Downloaded the vintage SDRAM as a gift for my nan. She says her laptop hasn't changed at all, which at her age is honestly the ideal outcome."
"As a certified IT professional I can confirm this is not how anything works. Five stars."
No hidden fees. No visible fees. No fees. No product either, but let's focus on the fees.
Asked frequently, answered reluctantly.
No. RAM (Random Access Memory) is a physical stick of hardware that lives inside your computer. It cannot be downloaded, emailed, streamed, air-fried, or manifested. This entire website is a joke.
The progress bar is lying to you. It's a rectangle that gets wider. We're as disappointed in it as you are.
Buy physical RAM from a real shop, close some of your 200 browser tabs, or consider that your computer may simply be tired. Genuinely though: more (real) RAM, an SSD if you're still on a spinning hard drive, and restarting occasionally will do wonders.
No, but we admire the ambition. Your phone also cannot receive downloaded RAM, thoughts and prayers, or a firmer handshake.
Our imaginary RAM is 100% locally sourced from Australian imaginations, which are among the finest in the world. Zero gigabytes of foreign RAM are involved, because zero gigabytes are involved overall.
Please see our extremely sincere disclaimer below, drafted with the gravity this website deserves (none, but we did it anyway).